Wow, a lot has happened since I started this blog a few years ago. It has been nearly four years since my miscarriage, which I think was about the time I started here. So here is an update on the life of Tracy.
In one year, I should be walking across a stage to accept both an Associate’s and a Bachelor degree. I graduated high school in 1999, and will finally have TWO degrees at the end of 2018. It has been a long road, and I truly could not have gotten here without my wonderful husband.
We now have two more children than we had four years ago. My daughter will be three in January, and my son will be one. My son has OMA (Ocular Motor Apraxia) and a few developmental delays. For a few months this summer, I thought he was blind, but he finally started tracking and making/maintaining eye contact. During those months, I learned so much about the blind/VI community, and made a few friends. I learned a lot about accessibility and advocating for those who need it, whether the individual is your child, your friend, or yourself. For those few months, I obsessed over blind accessibility, Orientation and Mobility, sensory rich toys, the possibility of learning Braille, white canes, and assistive technology. Because that is what I do, I obsess. I fixate on something and learn as much as I can until the feeling passes.
Eventually, I accepted that he could see, and that I no longer had to stress about learning about that particular topic. The timing was convenient, because the fall semester was starting, and I needed to focus on school. Then I had to choose a topic for a research proposal. This would probably be a good time to mention that I am a Psych major. I wanted to research a topic that I was interested in, since that makes researching a topic so much less painful. So I wanted to learn about sensory processing problems. This led me down a trail like this:
SPD–>Part of ASD–>SPD often seen in ADHD–>ADHD, I have that–>Taking meds for ADHD helped my Fibromyalgia–>Fibro is a lot like SPD–>DSM does not recognize SPD as a disorder, but it does include sensory issue as part of ASD–>Is Fibro a lot like ASD?…
So, that was around September or October of this year. Just a couple of months ago, really. In these last few months, I have learned a LOT about Autism and Asperger’s, Fibromyalgia, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Alexithymia, Affective Spectrum Disorder, sensory gating and habituation, and the Autism Quotient. I have read studies. So many studies.
One study (here) concluded that ADHD and ASD could be one continuum. Just as Asperger’s is considered high-functioning Autism, ADHD could be yet a higher-functioning form, or however you want to say it. Another (here) found a higher frequency of ADHD in women with Fibro. There were others, but what I found was one puzzle piece after another which all seemed to fit my theory. Fibromyalgia seems so very similar to Asperger’s. Dr. Tony Attwood and writer/Aspie Rudy Simone both emphasize the fact that girls on the spectrum present differently than boys do, and so often, they go undiagnosed until much later in life. Most sufferers of Fibro are women. The pattern seeking part of me cannot help but put these pieces together to form a very likely picture of millions of women suffering with an invisible pain disorder that could be the result of living a life with a sensory disorder. Having hypersensitive everything can drive a person batty, especially if those around you just seem to think you are being whiny and demanding, or evasive and unsociable.
I started writing this as an update on my life and fell into my habit of over-sharing my current fixation. Sorry. That is just one of my many charming Aspie tendencies. I will share one more thing with you before I go. I read this thing today about tactile-defensiveness. I texted and asked my husband to read it as a favor to me. Later, after he got home from work, he asked why reading it made him think of me. I told him that was why I needed him to read it. I wanted him to understand that the way I behave sometimes is not a reflection of him or my feelings for him, that it is just my way of coping. I think it helped.
Please comment if you have any thoughts on my ideas in this blog. I will touch again on it at a later date, as I have much more to go into about the neuro-physiological aspect of all of it. Until then, good night!